We moved to Australia 8 years ago, and for the first 3-4 years he worked. We have been extremely fortunate enough to have one of us at home, doing the hard work, whilst the other was out in the workforce.
Four years ago, I was crawling the walls, and he asked me if we wanted to swap. And so far it's worked for us. He is a way better housewife than I would ever be. I was the first samoan girl he met that couldn't cook to save myself. I think it kind of amused him. Like a Ripleys: Believe it or not moment. 8 years later, I can honestly say I haven't burnt anything in a long time hahaha.
It's not the way every household works, but it works for us. Every couple has their own 'jobs' they do. For example: He deals with any kind of vomitting in the house and I suck boogas out of the children's noses when they had colds to help clear the airways if they need - of course this was when they were babies!! (oh, sorry about the visuals). I kill spiders and he chases away cane toads and geckos. Don't judge me, I don't like them! Another one is I drive the cars and he makes sure there is enough petrol, water, oil.. whatever is needed. And much to his dismay, I have absolutely no idea how to change a tyre and I have no desire to learn how. We do have RACQ membership but it's only for whatever car he is in, because 99% of the time, he's the one who will have the children with him.
There are some jobs that people think are suited to women and some to men. In this day and age, it does seem like woman can do anything. And if you are one of those woman - all power to you. I can't do everything, and I embrace it.
With so much pressure out there to be perfect at this or that, I say - screw it. Do whatever works for your family. All I really want is to make sure the kids are taught well, become good people and achieve the goals we have as a family. Like working at being together forever without too many battle scars. I said to my son tonight that I hope to make sure he has heaps of stories to tell his children about me. I smiled when he said he has a few already.
It's good to be working towards our goals together. I'm glad my Tarlini learnt very early these great words of wisdom:
Much like people will give you heaps of advice when you're about to become parents for the first time, people do have a lot of advice for newly weds. The best advice I ever got was take out the advice you like, and run with it. It works for both scenarios.
Figure out what works for you and roll with it. And be deliriously happy along the way because forever's a long long time. Amen.
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