Protecting Their Hearts: Beyond Resilience

WARNING: Some of my friends may recognise themselves described in this piece. No offense intended - apologies in advance. Of course no one is actually named.. but you know.. just getting that out of the way (with the utmost sincerity - truly!)... and I hope we continue to remain friends. Smiles!

Journal - 1988

I was 12 years old when I first began writing in a journal. As a Latter-Day Saint Young Women, it was the natural thing to do. Record your thoughts, feelings and just really write about your day. 

Even back then, one of the main reasons I wrote in a journal was so my children could get a gist of what it was like for me at their age. That somehow it would be a point of connection for us. 

My eldest daughter is going to be 15 yrs old soon. I cringe a bit about what she will think when she reads my adolescent words, but there are a few things I hope she learns.

She may find love letters from old boyfriends. She will read about the total elation over a first boyfirend, who was always a total gentleman. She will read about her mother's first real kiss. She will learn that fortunately her mother overcame some unhealthy (totally embarrassing) obsessions, and had some really complicated relationships. She may find old bubble gum sealed for the eternities (ewww) that was shared (yuck) with a boy. She will laugh out very loudly about old crushes.  She will learn that her mother's heart has been broken quite a few times. 

She will learn that there other reasons her mother loved seminary (EB, no telling!) 

She will learn the story behind favourite teen fragrances - Brute 33 and Kouros! 

She will learn that all of this experience lead to eventually her parents love story. 

She will be reminded of what we both know - and what she learned at an early age - that her mother is not perfect. 

She will learn that her mother learnt about true friendship. From a teen perspective, some of it can make for good drama. It's got the whole mix - close friends, betrayal, heartache (sob stories), clicks, teen pregnancy (not mine dahaha). She will recognise some of my Facebook friends who she's met once or twice in her lifetime, and when I tell her I've had those friends nearly all of my life. She'll be like WOW! That's ages. She will learn that true friendship is unconditional. 

She willl be reminded that her mother LOVES proving other people wrong. Where there were people who once thought she was not good enough, may think twice about that today. (NB: As a parent now, I totally get where they came from but back then it really sucked). 

Most of all she will learn about family. How our hearts broke when people we love were called to the heavens - including our beautiful baby neice and two beautiful baby nephews. How our lives changed when both my parents lost their beloved brothers. Between the lines, she will see how loved I have always felt by my family. 

I hope she learns that she can survive broken hearts. I hope it adds a chunk to her armour and that when there are moments she needs something, she can open my journals and as well as laughing at me, she will learn and it will bring us closer together all in the same time. 

Here's hoping anyway.