The Nipple Factor

The other day I was in a meeting (I won't say if it was at work, or church, or a parent/teacher interview or whatever haha) but the guy that was running the meeting had this top on, and I felt like telling him that he really should put a singlet or something on underneath because although it's the end of winter here in Brisbane, it's not cold at all and the good old nips shoud not be protruding out of his shirt like that. I didn't know where to look. Awkward. I talked to another lady was attended the same meeting and she noticed the same thing and truth be told, we did get a good ab workout about it. Double awkward haha. 

You know those moments where you don't know where to look or what to say because it's so awkward? Thanks to that meeting I have named those moments 'The Nipple Factor'. 

Another Nipple Factor moment occured at a former workplace. I had only been working there for a few month and it's customary when someone has a milestone birthday, a cake is rolled out for the whole building and we sing the birthday song. Anyway, it was a 21st celebration and this woman (who I had not met before) had the whole Madonna 'Desperately Seeking Susan' look. I looked around and thought it was a joke. I think I actually said to someone "Is this serious?". Well it was. The only lady who had hair higher than this woman is definitely Marge Simpson. Anyway, it turns out she's pretty much the boss. As in one step down from the Big Kahuna. We had a business update one day and it was Q & A time and I must've been smirking at Madonna that day. She looked at me and said, "Ah, I know you have a question." My mother's wittiness flowed through me, "How do you keep your hair looking so fabulous?" I heard the snickers around me, but she honestly gave a five minute answer about the mechanics of keeping her hair that high. It was gold and I'm sure that has been added to the company's myths and legends. 

Another Nipple Factor was when my little cousin had been out all day and her Dad didn't know where she was and was suitably concerned. All of the family were in town for a funeral or unveiling, so we were all together. It was a little after dark and she walked up the driveway with a misguided confidence, in fabulous high heels. Half an hour later she came back into the house with lost confidence and a sore butt. We all knew what happened. She probably got a hiding with her 'Sex in the City' stilletos, but not a word was uttered. My cousins & I laugh about it often, but at the moment she walked back in the door: total nipple factor moment. Dahahahaha. 

Some Nipple Factor moments are unavoidable. The true challenge is being able to look those 'Nipple Factor moment' people in the eye again. Oh, and if you're going to disobey your parents, wear jandals - not Jimmy Choos. Cheeehooooo! dahahaha.